What is masculinity?
by Eivind Figenschau Skjellum
What is masculinity? What does it look like? What does it speak like? What does it feel like? Let’s go through this in an orderly fashion:
Masculinity is…
- Not synonymous with “man”. Just like men can be feminine, women can be masculine. The quality of masculinity is what makes someone masculine, not their gender.
- Represented by the ability to “detach” from the situation, to evaluate it with an outside perspective. This gives masculine people the ability to act strategically, be great planners, and to not be swept away by emotions when some composure is required.
- Grounded in emptiness. Emptiness is that state that transcends the temporal realm of manifestation. It is the capacity of the Masculine to tap into the Void, that which is beyond.
- Dedicating yourself to a life of service. The Masculine person lives to give himself as a living sacrifice, knowing that it is the only way he can protect himself from Death (the person who is fully given can meet death with peace).
- Dancing with Death. Death is to the Masculine its archenemy and its best friend. To the masculine man, it is precisely the quality of knowing death that enables him to live his life fully. At the same time, there is nothing he fears more. Death comes in many forms, not just as mortal recoil from our dimension, but as change. It can manifest in the simplest things, such as staying in the shower longer because we don’t want to feel the cold air outside it. When a man learns to conquer death in the small ways that show up during the day, he becomes truly powerful
- The desire to “fix” things, to put an end to them. This is related to the above point about death. In conversation, a masculine man will try and reach a solution, whereas a feminine woman will just want to dance with words.
- The ability to proactively penetrate any challenges that present themselves. The man who is mature in his masculinity accepts total responsibility for his actions, their consequences, and also those of others.
- The ability to direct (particularly the Feminine). The Masculine always has a direction. For the man with a masculine essence, it is crucial that he maintains a clear direction in life and relationships lest he feel totally disempowered. A man who is not directed will be felt as “spacy” and untrustable. You can gauge your ability to direct by paying attention to whether you always have a clear intention and a desired outcome in your encounters with people. When you speak just to fill the void, you have lost direction, and you will lose yourself.
When you start manifesting these qualities in yourself and in your life, you will start feeling that your vitality increases and that your sexuality deepens. You may find you have a fire in your belly, literally warmth spreading through your body in very pleasurable ways. You will find that you have a strange sense of immovability, that you feel solid and not so vulnerable to the external world. Your mind will start functioning better, and you will not forget things like you used to. You will discover a sense of clarity in communication about WHY you are speaking and where you want dialogues and meetings with people to go. You will feel called to serve others through your growing personal power.
This is just a short introduction to the qualities inherent in the Masculine, but it should put you in good stead to do further research on your own. The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida is always a good place to start.
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