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My first encounter with the Alexander Technique

posted by Eivind on January 12, 2011, at 10:56 pm

On Rob Brinded's advice, I sought out the Alexander Technique for the first time today. I have decided that 2011 will be the year when I reclaim my body, when I learn to fully inhabit it. I don't want to be tense and out of balance anymore. I'm tired of it. It started with lots of childhood tensions and bad posture while sitting into the wee hours of the morning playing computer games, and it exploded at a ten-day vipassana retreat I did some five years ago. After that, I have had chronic tensions in my body.

I sought out an Englishman by the name of Nigel Hornby who teaches here in Oslo. Nigel was the first ever Alexander teacher here in Norway. It turned out to be an enlightening and very moving experience. I really liked Nigel, a gentle man in his early sixties with natural curiosity about life. His bookshelf made me feel right at home - it had Iron John on it among other fine pieces of world literature.

I explained him my problems and he was absolutely fascinated, especially by the story of how something that was supposed to help me (meditation) actually hurt my body. I quite like talking about myself (not always my best trait) and it was good to be listened to so attentively and genuinely.

As he started working on me with his hands, I noticed how I just didn't know how to be with the movements. He would move my arms and legs around and I got hit by sensory confusion. Should I control or relax? I imagined that I should try to surrender into the movement, to let go completely, and then he asked "what are you trying to do with your left arm here?". "I don't know, I responded," before I admitted "no, I do. I'm trying to relax into your movements."

"You don't know how to relax," he said. "You don't have a clue". Before he a little later said, "you don't know how to be with yourself." He was real gentle and we had a wonderful dialogue. He talked about how nobody knows how to be with themselves anymore, how nine out of ten people have back problems. He talked about why the way we talk about relaxation in the West is a huge problem, because most people's idea of relaxation is actually collapse. That is not healthy at all. So stop trying to relax, he told me. Whoa!

On one occasion, he stopped me when I started talking about what I do on this website ("sorry that I stopped you, but you have so many habits, you started tensing up again"). I was amazed by that. In fact, so much so that I felt immediately how profound that information was for me. In fact, I noticed I tense up pretty much every time I open my mouth. Because I don't know how to be with myself. Being with myself was an art that was extracted out of me by Western civilization. We shared our sentiments of grief over this.

My goodness. I really don't know how to be with myself, even after so much spiritual practice. My body shows it clear as day. I was incredibly moved by the insights I got in this lesson and am so grateful to have discovered the Alexander Technique. My arms felt completely different afterwards. I don't generally feel that awkward about my arms, but they just seemed so much better. In fact, I felt I had been given new arms.

Next week, I'm going back. I'm looking forward to seeing Nigel again, to get to know my body more – and to reclaim it fully in 2011. By the gods, I have missed it.

  • http://blog.rickbelden.com Rick Belden

    I had a very similar experience with Alexander many years ago. Much like you, I was repeatedly shocked throughout the work as I discovered (1) how tense I was EVERYWHERE, (2) how little I trusted my own body, and (3) how much I was trying to control my body mentally as opposed to moving it (being moved by it) naturally.

    I also remember observing other people walking around in the corridors at work after my session and noticing how tight, unbalanced, and out of whack everyone was. This wasn’t observed from a position of superiority by any means. It was just that, in the new awareness of my own condition, I was suddenly able to see it in others for the first time.

    Unfortunately, I chose not to continue the program. Other things in my life crowded it out at the time. I did retain something from the experience, but I know I only scratched the surface of what I could have learned. Frankly, it was hard for me to be with all that kinesthetic/mental disorientation for very long. But your post has me thinking that perhaps it’s time to consider another pass as I know that, despite all my progress (and there has been a lot), my relationship with my body, especially as it relates to posture and movement, is still problematic.  The Feldenkrais Method is also supposed be good but I have no experience with that.

    What really opened my awareness to my body and changed my relationship with it most profoundly was Rolfing. Pretty intense, but it sure broke up a lot of old patterns. It was also probably my first real experience of being fully present with my body, being aware of how it was feeling, and releasing into my experience with it, moment to moment, without trying to “correct” it, since I was an infant.

  • http://www.masculinity-movies.com/articles/an-introduction-to-gnosticism Eivind F S

    Thanks for sharing that, Rick. Seems like you have been through a lot of different stuff.

    The Alexander technique has already helped me a lot. After that first consultation, my body awareness skyrocketed and I’ve felt much more at ease in my body since then. I will be happy to go back there next week.

  • Alex H.

    wow very interesting to hear your experience with your body. I have had similar experience with meditation. Did Vipassana for awhile (never the retreat though) and found that it never really helped connect me with my body as all of us western men seem to have trouble with. I have just come to the conclusion that there is no one size fits all and we are all different but there are more then one way to expand our awareness without forcing our bodies to go through a process that is counter to the way society has built us. It also made me very introverted.  I am very interested to continue hearing about your experience with the Alexander Technique.

  • http://myhalfof.wordpress.com Franis

    A chronicle from the beginning of taking Alexander Technique lessons doesn’t exist yet on the web. Part of the reason for that is beginners find it tricky to put into words what is happening for them during lessons. You’re doing great with that!  Hope your journey will be as long and as interesting with Alexander Technique as mine has been. Will avidly enjoy reading what you write about as you go…

    Rick, as gentle as it is, Alexander Technique takes people to the edge of the unknown and sometimes pushes them over that edge. For some, unspecified fears justify avoiding progress. Lessons can provoke a sort of self-protective “kickback resistance” (just like a bureaucracy that wants to preserve itself at all costs!)

    Subvert that sub-dominant paradigm!

     

  • http://www.masculinity-movies.com Eivind

    Are you saying Franis that if I were to write about my experiences going to Nigel in the time to come, I will provide a resource that doesn’t exist on the Web today?

  • http://myhalfof.wordpress.com Franis

    Yes, you’ve got that exactly right!

    If you’re interested in checking out what does exist already, an efficient place to look takes advantage of a colleague of mine who scours the web looking for people who are blogging about Alexander Technique. Actually, I found you because of http://alextech.wikia.com/wiki/AT_Blog_of_the_week

    However, you’re doing a great job describing your experiences so far. So you might want to put off looking at what other people have to say about what they are experiencing from Alexander Technique. For everyone else, it has always been much farther down the line of having been in study of Alexander Technique when they finally realize how important their lessons have become to them. At that point they start writing, and usually they are not so articulate about how they write. You are writing from the beginning (probably because you are a writer first!) An account of lessons that start from the beginning doesn’t exist anywhere else – yet.

    If you look at what others write about Alexander Technique later, (say after your first course of study of something like three months or so,) your descriptions will be guaranteed to be candid.

  • http://myhalfof.wordpress.com Franis
  • http://www.codeofthenatural.com Rob

    Hey Eivind, I’m glad you enjoyed Alexander Technique… much more than just a body system… reaches so deep in such a gentle way. He was a genius.

    Rob

  • http://www.masculinity-movies.com Eivind F S

    I had no idea this blog was featured on a site about the Alexander Technique, Franis. That’s a nice surprise.

    I have only had two lessons since – I’m on a budget these days. But what comes up for me is that I feel in many ways like an infant when with Nigel. It’s like I’m learning to be human again. It’s quite extraordinary – I never felt anything quite like it.

    I’m looking forward to my next lesson. I will hopefully be blogging again after that.

    I’ll try to heed your advice although I’m very curious about other people’s experiences now.

  • http://www.masculinity-movies.com Eivind F S

    Yep, Rob, I feel his genius through Nigel – like he is present somehow. I wish I could afford going every week.

    I was pleasantly surprised to find that Lionel Logue in the King’s Speech – which I just featured on the site – actually studied with Alexander. Everything is connected like a web.