Suggest movie

A powerful movie about forgiveness:

Five Minutes in Heaven

Glory, with Mathew Brodderick, Denzel Washington and Morgan Freeman. It is about a regiment formed with African American men that fought during the Civil War. It is about courage, pride, brotherhood, duty, fighting not only the other army, but also their own army, and their inner sense of incompleteness caused by the racism and the submission they suffered.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, starring Russell Crowe.

In its own way it is as masculine as gladiator. Fighting on the high seas, burning bridges of retreat and facing grief..

I teach a class called Exploring the Masculine: Inner and Outer (through film).
I’ve shown:
Far from the Madding Crowd 3 men constellate around Julie Christie: one “macho” (Terence Stamp), the other obsessed by her/losing himself (Peter Finch) and Alan Bates who embodies an integrated man. Great map of these male archetypes and the hero-victim-perpetrator triangle.
The Reader, showing trauma that can arise for a man from a painful first relationship, and the subsequent “shut down.” Also deals a lot w/ shame on both the main characters’ parts.
Brief Encounters w/ Hideous Men. Very provocative. A great discussion film for both men and women.
Private Dicks (a HBO doc about men talking about their penises)
Carnal Knowledge…great study of two different male archetypes
Soldier…not a great movie, but I’ve shown the first 5 minutes as a clip as an extreme illustration of how men (can) get conditioned.
Magnolia, for the Tom Cruise scenes
The Secret Life of Words…one of my all-time favorite scenes is when the Tim Robbins character takes in, really takes in, the story he is told by his nurse. I think there is a heap of healing between the masculine & feminine in that scene.
Elegy. Great arc of transformation in the Ben Kingsley character.
Zorba the Greek. Wow
Affliction. An abusive father and his two sons, each turning out opposite to one another. The final narration piece by Daniel Defoe is so moving about the legacy of affliction.
500 Days of Summer. Unrequited love from the male point of view.
About a Boy. Great arc of transformation. And funny & charming to boot.
I haven’t seen Tyson yet but it’s on my list.
Thanks for your site!

Gosh, now you’ve really got me going…
A disturbing film about mother-son relationship is “Savage Grace”…a very extreme example but I think some of the dynamics exist in a much more subtle way between mother and son.
“Dean Spanley” (if you can get a hold of it) is beautiful about father/son healing.
“Riding Alone for 1000s of Miles” (Chinese) is great healing/redemption father to son
Father/Daughter:
Proof
King of California

And finally (and then I’ll stop)
Billy Budd (w/ Terence Stamp, based on the Melville story)…about the dangers of being too naive. Also shows the Dark Masculine and the Benevolent Patriarch, whose downfall was in following the rules vs using his discernment.
The Matador: comedy… about a softened masculine learning what he needs to learn from the tough masculine.

Stumbled on to this site. Love it. I’m sending a link to my boyfriend.

I saw “The Kids are Alright” last night. The “antagonist”, I thought, was a great reflection of the shadow male. His almost grown children contact him after discovering he was the sperm donor to their lesbian mothers. What happens next is a great example of the various archetypes, shadow and light, in boys, man AND women. I don’t want to reveal much more and ruin this new movie for anyone.

Two true stories worth mentioning:

Gridiron Gang – A worker at a boys detention center starts a football team to teach the boys discipline, teamwork, and focus.

Peaceful Warrior – Story of Dan Millman, an Olympic gymnast who shatters his leg in a motorcycle accident and is subsequently mentored by a spiritual gas station attendant… the old man teaches the cocky young athlete about life.

Also,

Precious – Feel like I should mention it because it’s such a powerful story of a young woman who rises up from abuse- shows the mother wound beautifully, and also how women are capable of violence.

Great site, and a great resource.

I have always known a great deal of my own virtues and values, or those I aspire to, came from the movies I soaked up right from my youth until now. There’s a great book (true story)about a despairing film critic dad who took his son out if school and allowed him to stay home so long as he watched movies with his dad, chosen by his dad. I won’t spoil the read but it certainly made me think and appreciate how great storytelling has had e a powerful impact in my life.

A small selection of the stories that impacted me, and a little about why, in no particular order:

Harold and Maude: a boy becomes a man with through love and loss. And finds light where before he had seen only darkness.

The Outsiders: responsibility, and accountability, and boys self initiating without role models, until one of them becomes a hero.

Rumble Fish: Francis ford Coppola made this art house and fascinating story with Matt Dillon and Mickey Rourke. A mother who abandons the two brothers, and the father, the dad takes to the bottle and the kids become the family, and the rulers of their neighborhood.. Lots of deep stuff around role models, leadership, ennui, and sacrifice.

Last of the Mohicans: Michael Mann’s take on this classic with Daniel Day Lewis beautifully captured a true masculine with all archetypes in balance.

Cool Hand Luke is brilliant, and I love Outlaw Josey Wales too.

Elvind the phrase ‘can of worms’ springs to mind, but in a good way. Thankyou!

“Someone I once knew wrote that we walk away from our dreams afraid that we may fail or worse yet, afraid we may succeed. You need to know that while I knew so very early that you would realize your dreams, I never imagined I would once again realize my own. Seasons change young man, and while I may have waited until the winter of my life, to see the things I’ve seen this past year, there is no doubt I would have waited too long, had it not been for you” -from the FINDING FORESTER movie. The way the 2 characters help each other out to achive the impossible, how they make that difficult journey to transform themselves is a proof that dreams can be reignited. I can relate to this story from my own experiences. Its true that someone isn’t inspired until someone inspires or motivates them.

This story always lead me to a wonderful place in my heart where i always believed that dreams can come true but we must make sure we pursue them before it is too late.

Centurion

Movie about a roman solider who is being chased by barbarians after his whole unit/legion has been killed. He is very tough, compassionate, caring, extremely brave etc

Great stuff. Gots lots of ideas.

I’ll add a few of my favorites that may not have been mentioned.

THE EDGE – survival, jealousy, resourcefulness, friendship
DANTE’S PEAK – heroism despite woundedness
GRIZZLY MAN -documentary of obsession, self delusion and love of the wilderness
THE POPE OF GREENWICH VILLAGE – male friendship

More Later
Charley

Hey,
Great website, great idea.
I would like to second the following movies that have already been suggested:

• The Fisher King (already suggested three times! – a modern parable based on the Arthurian legend of the Fisher King, the basic wound of manhood and its healing)
• Gandhi (a masculine archetype of conviction and gentle power)
• The Great Santini (a toxic model of manhood and how the wound is passed on from father to son; a favourite movie of family therapists!)
• Groundhog Day (practice makes better! – getting it right by moving beyond narcissism)
• Life As A House (healing in a father-son relationship)
• Love You, Man (friendships between guys)
• A River Runs Through It (several models of manhood; difficulty of men to speak openly and directly with each other about their hurts)
• Rocky

Here are a few additional suggestions I would make:
• Big Eden (offbeat movie presenting a kind of alternative reality where gay attraction and relationships are openly accepted)
• Brokeback Mountain (the failure of traditional masculine models)
• Captains Courageous (old black & white movie about a young boy’s need for an involved father and the difference this made in his life)
• Chariots of Fire (two men of conviction in an age of compromise)
• The Mission (De Niro’s model of repentance and redemption is alone worth the watching of this movie! – again, a masculine model of quiet courage, conviction and self-sacrifice)

Also would recommend a little book entitled _What Stories Does My Son Need? A Guide to Books and Movies That Build Character in Boys”, by Michael Gurian (family therapist and author of _The Wonder of Boys_ and _The Good Son_): basically an exploration of 100 movies and 100 books he recommends as resources for fathers to share with their sons. Enjoy!

Hi Eivind

1) Sometime ago I saw the 2006 film called
“Peaceful Warrior”
featuring among others Nick Nolte. It’s about a young man’s search for the strength within to be all he can be in the world of college gymnastics. In his search he finds a mentor…

From Imdb.com: “A chance encounter with a stranger changes the life of a college gymnast.”

2) “Dances with Wolves” featuring Kevin Costner:
“Lt. John Dunbar, exiled to a remote western Civil War outpost, befriends wolves and Indians, making him an intolerable aberration in the military.”

It is special to me, because it speaks volumes about man being able to embrace supposed enemies. And I love the concept of going back to the roots, which I think is expressed in the spiritual evolution of the main character.

3) “Remember the Titans” featuring Denzel Washington:
“The true story of a newly appointed African-American coach and his high school team on their first season as a racially integrated unit.”

This movie is about young men overcoming hatred and racism, and embracing each other as an equal team member and as friends.

Great site you have here!

Many kind regards from the sister country./Mange gode hilsner fra søsterlandet.

Emilios, Denmark/Danmark

Just watched The Wrestler with Mickey Rourke… not what I was expecting and very happy with the experience. Powerfully moving as it reflects what has happened in his ‘real’ life from successs to failure and is authentic as he draws upon emotional life experiences and due to great directing is captured on screen. Has all the male ‘shadows’ of our society in it and how he succeeds and fails…. gritty and real. Lots of us men out here in many of  the aspects shown. The interview with him in the ‘extras’ is worth watching to.

Billy Elliott is an excellent tale of social roles, restrictions we put on ourselves and others,  and having the courage to live authentically.

Home for the Holidays is an understated look at family and and how we here in America love each other. It’s got some really well-done acting and men’s roles

Hi Eivind

My suggestion:

FEARLESS, Starring Jeff Bridges, 1993

I’ve been doing a bit more “internal digging” reflecting on some aspects of The Fisher King story and inspired by your reviews. It led me to a different place, thinking about the King’s wound resulting in him being able to do nothing other than sit in his moat fishing all day while everything else falls apart around him.

It made me look at responses to being wounded, and the phrase you have previously used (which I really like) about “allowing oneself to be impacted by the world”. I’m looking at healthy and unhealthy ways of allowing this to happen, and admitting and accepting it when it does.

It brought me back to this other movie with Jeff Bridges, because I found myself confusing his character in The Fisher King with his one in Fearless. I was trying to find what connection there might be. I came to the conclusion that Fearless can be seen as a movie about being impacted by the world, about admitting your wounds, about opening up to the help of others (The Fisher King needed Parsifal to ask the question “what ails thee?”, he needed others help to heal…)

Anyway, just my own thoughts on this. Fearless is a great movie to watch, regardless of whether you decide to do a review on it or not.

Cheers

James

blue velvet would seem to me to be the quintessential male rite of passage movie

I don’t know if this will sound weird, haha I am young so you adults might think that this is odd, but I have always thought that perhaps Maximum Ride, the book by James Patterson would make a great movie. It has a very unique and interesting story and setting and I believe that many people would enjoy it, so long as the movie followed the story. It would really be sad if they messed the story up like they have done in books like Eragon and The Lightning Theif. But I feel that Maximum Ride would make a great movie because it is exciting and funny and also it shows how the characters grow. Anyways, I think that would be a great movie.

Another movie they should make is Azurik. You know like the video game? It isn’t very well known, but I think that the story is too good to leave out of a movie.Out of all the movies they make from video games, they definetely should make one out of that game. If they could make a movie out of it by improving the animation, or by using real life people and sets and stuff, I think that would make a REALLY good movie. I like the music that is on that game too. It’s quite pretty. But yeah it definetely has the potentiel to become a wonderful movie that many people would enjoy.

APOCALYPTO – the M.Gibson masterpiece is the teaching model movie for Moore and Gillettes work. It is replete with brilliantly portrayed examples of WMKL in their balanced, inflated and deflated shadow archetypal forms. A masterworking of the Hero’s Journey. Joseph Campbell would have praised it from the high heavens for it’s portrayals, if not it’s historical accuracy. ( be sure to read the Wiki critiques after you’ve seen the movie to put the innacuracies in perspective, and to get a sense of why the narrative overrid strict adherance to cultural accuracies )
A core scene take place during the forest ‘chase ‘ sequence, where the Hero, stops, turns around, declares his ancestry, and faces his fears head on, that is a metaphor for the transition from boy psychology to man psychology that still leaves me with goosebumps just thinking about it.
The nobilty and wisdom of the Hero’s Father when he talks to his son about what Fear does to a Mans life will strike at the heart of most men, I would venture. And show me one Man who would not choose to die with the clarity and fearlessness the Father shows his son in his last seconds.
For myself, this is probably the best Hero’s journey movie ever made ( and I’ve seen a few) and one of the best contextual explanations of
WKML in one place that you’ll probably find anywhere.

My movie suggestion are

To Sir With Love – Sidney Poitier at his best in an iconic role that challenges both racial and gender roles.  Black educated man unable to find a job in his field has to take on a job teaching poor, white kids.  The lessons he gives the young men on how to be a man, eventually winning them over shows that true male mentorship has been around in film for sometime.  Utterly inspiring.

12 Angry Men – Henry Fonda is the voice of reason on a jury of twelve men.  The entire film takes place inside a jury deliberation room.  Every type of masculinity is shown here as the gloves and masks come off.   Thinking of spending several hundred dollars on a “men’s retreat” weekend?  Save some cash and watch this movie instead!

Billy Elliot – Masculine energy channeled generatively despite the odds and backlash.  

Planet B-Boy – Warrior energy used generatively through dedication and commitment to mind-blowing, death defying dance moves and hard core dance offs.  Would be a great multi-cultural addition to your database as this documentary covers B-Boy teams from all over the world and travels to their home countries.

Sir! No, Sir! – documentary about military men speaking out against unjust wars. From the website…

“In the 1960’s an anti-war movement emerged that altered the course of history. This movement didn’t take place on college campuses, but in barracks and on aircraft carriers. It flourished in army stockades, navy brigs and in the dingy towns that surround military bases. It penetrated elite military colleges like West Point. And it spread throughout the battlefields of Vietnam. It was a movement no one expected, least of all those in it.  Hundreds went to prison and thousands into exile.  And by 1971 it had, in the words of one colonel, infested the entire armed services. Yet today few people know about the GI movement against the war in Vietnam.”

Enjoy!  Great website!

Amy Luna Manderino
Miss Cougar International

just a reminder it have already have great soundtracks just need a good director to make the movie big!!!

Office Space