Masculinity-Movies blog

In honor of my ending intimate relationship

posted by Eivind on January 3, 2010, at 5:37 pm


I have been with my girlfriend for almost three years now. It's been an extraordinary time. The opportunities to practice love that have arisen in myriad forms along the way have made me a stronger, more committed and more open-hearted man. Before I met Cathrine, I had very little experience with intimate relationship. I was a serious spiritual practitioner, meditating for 1-2 hours every day for many years, but relationships were a whole other ballgame. An experience in Boudhgaya, India at the end of 2006 changed my life. I transitioned then into a time of study the arts of women, love, and relationships. The relationship was the culmination of that work.

I have come to know Cathrine as a healer. Not in the sense that she has warm hands and reads auras - although she *has* warm hands and *can* read auras - but in the sense that I have known deep healing in our relationship together. In serving and being served by Cathrine, I have experienced a kind of inner revolution. In truth, if it weren't for the dynamic nature of our relationship, the profound love we have shared, and the challenges that her shifting forms of feminine embrace and resistance brought into my life, I would not be half the man I am now. I have learned to love no matter what (well, almost). Most of the time, she has made it very easy for me. Sometimes, she has made it incredibly hard. But I would have it no other way. It has been her gift to me.

The two of us both know that many have expected us to marry and have children. Many of those of you who know us personally have WANTED us to marry and have children. There are many good reasons for that. We have been a great couple. We have shared extraordinary love. And spending the rest of my life with her would be a pretty good way to live. But there is an even deeper recognition - the purpose of my life needs my attention. The work I'm doing is starting to take off. And starting a family now would force me to call off those plans - or at least put them on hold.

My relationship has been in service of my life's purpose. I would even say that it has *defined* my life's purpose. But with the dream of children - and the recognition that it is too early for me - we have sensed a shift for a long time now. In fact, we sensed it from the very beginning of our relationship. But our love caused us to ignore that and to plunge into a relationship nevertheless. For as long as I live, there will never be a thought of regret in my mind for that. It is, perhaps, the best choice I ever made. And in many ways, I know she feels the same. But children for me are some years into the future - when the pursuit of my life's purpose has come into full bloom and I feel that my calling to serve the world in the way closest to my heart has been realized.

I have cried in her arms. She has cried in mine. Sometimes I think we're crazy. But I believe we are doing the right thing. I don't expect all of you will understand. For I can in truth say that I don't always understand myself. But I have learned something about love lately. It has its own intelligence. And it speaks with a silent whisper. And it walks hand in hand with truth. Love seeks truth just as truth seeks love - and together they have decided to take the wheel. So you see - it is, in a sense, not up to us. We merely obey the silent whisper.

I have never known love like I have over these almost three years. And I have never felt stronger. And now it is with sadness, grief, but most of all deep joy, love, appreciation, and gratitude that I give her back to the world. Thanks to those of you out there who have been part of this journey. And to those whose hearts will be broken by this news, I am sorry. Know that we have reached this decision together. Noone has been dumped and there is not a hint of anger or bitterness. I will forever love her. And now, I am moving on. Up ahead, there is a woman waiting for me. And there's a man waiting for Cathrine. And they will get to know a one whose heart has deep imprints of another. And if they are to so much as qualify - they must understand that this is a good thing. It is our gift to them.

Happy New Year everyone.


Eat your dick off

posted by Eivind on December 22, 2009, at 12:07 am

One of the things that we are not focusing nearly enough energy on in our struggle as a gender to reclaim our true and authentic masculinity is how our modern diet is filling our bodies with hormones - feminine hormones to be exact. Men are actually being chemically castrated by staple foods and drinks such as soy and beer.

I think this interview Daniel Vitalis on testosterone, fertility and estrogen is worth listening to. Among other things, Daniel will tell you that beer feminizes you, reduces your libido and makes you impotent. So much for beer being masculine. No wonder I hardly ever drink it.

And you should read this article "Why boys are turning into girls".

Even our diet is emasculating us and hardly anybody is talking about it. Let's do something about that.

Discover David Deida

posted by Eivind on December 12, 2009, at 11:13 pm

If you take your masculine development at all seriously, you probably already know David Deida. What you may not know though is that a workshop he did in Australia at the beginning of the decade has just been made available on YouTube. I'm not quite sure if the people who published it are violating any copyrights, so watch it while it's still up.

Just check this one clip out.

Find all twelve parts of this amazing film production on Youtube.

Today is Good Men Day

posted by Eivind on December 1, 2009, at 11:03 pm

I just learned that today, Tuesday Dec 1, is Good Men Day. I support this initiative whole-heartedly and want you all to know about it.

From the project's website:

The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood, is a collection of first-person stories that comprise a book and documentary about what it means to be a man in America today. From Pulitzer winners to ex-cons, and pro Football Hall of Famers to just regular Joes, men share their defining challenges, losses and triumphs through honest and simple truths.

“The hope is that these stories will help men come to their own definition on what it means to be a good man,” says Tom Matlack, Good Men Project cofounder. “It’s about the deeper truth of how men think.”

The book and DVD of the film are available as a companion set, and all proceeds go to the Good Men Foundation, which supports organizations that help at-risk boys. It’s a perfect gift for the men in your life or the women who love them. Be a part of something – join what is fast becoming the centerpiece of a national discussion about what manhood means today.

Learning about this just made my day a little richer and I'm going to order the DVD asap. So should you.

Buy the the associated book or DVD.

— Eivind

Discover KWML with Ashes and Snow

posted by Eivind on November 20, 2009, at 11:38 pm

Ashes and Snow is an extraordinary exhibition I have recently been made aware of that has been migrating from continent to continent since 2002. It is an exhibition that documents one man's enduring observation of nature, the gorgeous and enigmatic animals that fill it, and the interaction those specimens of unimaginable creativity have with our own race, humanity.

Watch this and read on below

Did you enjoy that? I hope so. Any reactions you may have had are fertile soil for examining further your inner archetypes of the mature Masculine  (read about King, Warrior, Magician, Lover).

Here are the archetypes and the emotional landscapes that might be triggered in them from a movie such as this. Do any of them apply?


You marvel at the beauty of the world. You feel compassion for all who dwell in it, and wish that they find happiness and peace. You care for them almost as were they your children, such is your vast investment in their good fortune. You feel as nature is an extension of yourself. She is your Queen. You are wed to Her. And like any good husband, you wish to care for Her. And for those who may wish to hurt Her, you wish nothing more than their release from fear and suffering. Yours is the empowerment of a royal lineage of guardians (the kings who came before you), and if pressed, you are willing to channel that lineage and gather your army in order to preserve your kingdom, the lands with whom you are wed.


You understand the beauty of the world and the value it presents. With the conviction and confidence that comes only from clear perception, anger rises in your heart towards those people of petty and selfish intent who are willing to abuse that which you have been charged with protecting, only to achieve stupid, selfish and ultimately unfulfilling ends. You wish to eradicate such people from the face of the planet and you are willing to take them on one by one until they have all surrendered their fears to the superior force of your flaming sword of truth. There burns a fire in your belly and it feeds a sacred anger, untainted by ego and selfish concerns. You are ready to serve the higher purpose that has been entrusted you with any honorable means possible. Woe be the one who would oppose you, for yours is power, freedom, and justice - and the protective hand of your king.


The signs are clear. There is a purpose behind everything. You see the plan of the Master Architect and read it with such lucidity that one could be forgiven for thinking they were your own. You see the map and you are capable of its navigation. You are already hard at work manifesting in the world the children of your mind, those projects of creative brilliance whose realization brings hope to a world in crisis. Yours is the responsibility to realize the plans of the Master Architect, whatever he/she/it may be. You are the knower of secrets, the channel of sacred knowledge. You find yourself transported by these images of endless mystery to a cosmic place, far away from here. In a void of unknowing that is pregnant with creative potential, you are home.


Tears fill your eyes. Your heart is rendered open and beauty flows into it. You want to merge with this beauty. You do - you are One. Hurting the planet is hurting yourself. How can they not see? How can they not feel what you feel? A song forms on your tongue and a desire, deep and mysterious, rises for the company of souls with ears to hear it. How you wish they would come closer! Theirs is love, if only they would surrender into your open, loving embrace. My Beloveds, two-legged, four-legged, six-legged, eight-legged – come into my arms.

These are mature responses to what you have just witnessed, responses from the mature Masculine. Immature responses are feeling nothing, laughing or mocking. Did you feel nothing? Perhaps you are tired, cut off from your body and emotions? Cut off from your inner power? Perhaps you can come back later. Or maybe it will take some years of hard work. But consider if not the ability to actually care about the planet, and those lifeforms that walk its surface, is something worth aspiring for. The beauty here is so bright, blinding almost. Do not close your eyes only to succumb to the temptations of the shepherds of misery.

Artist Gregory Colbert has given you an invitation. Not for mere observation, but for active participation. Will you take it? If so, examine if you are living a life based on the emotional landscape that were just opened within you. Are you playing it safe? Or are you reaching your potential? Honor your archetypes. Take the invitation.

"Reclaim your Inner Throne: The archetypal online initiation experience"

Do you want to be part of round #2 of this powerful online initiation experience? Then go to for more information.